Rose Tinted Spectacles

I've had a number of messages and emails from people recently which say that our life sounds perfect or idyllic. Plus a couple of requests to write an entry which says it is rubbish here.

Whilst it is not rubbish here, most people who know me will know that I'm a positive and optimistic type, and I'm inclined to make the most of things. You have to go out and meet the world head on, and relish the opportunity to do this.

However......

Just so you all know that life here isn't perfect....here is a list of things about being in Australia which piss me off.

Insects

Insects are everywhere, and are an important part of life here. Housework, in particular, is governed by them. If you don't keep the place clean and tidy, they will take over. I've found ants in virtually every room in the house. We've found dead cockroaches in the dishwasher. We've had HUGE spiders. Today I extracted a weird jumping type creature from inside my trouser leg whilst filling the car up with petrol. And mosquitos....you can forget about going out in the evening smelling sweetly of your latest expensive scent. These days the only thing I smell of after dusk is insect repellent. And woe betide you if you ever leave the sunroof or windows of your car open after parking. I'm not sure how many deaths can be attributed to people driving along and suddenly realising that they are sharing their vehicle with a huge hairy spider, but I'm sure as hell not going to be one of them. Actually, speaking of the big hairy ones, I was listening to the radio the other day and they had a segment where you could phone up with your tales of unfortunate encounters with insects....now if you are eating or about to eat, or of a nervous disposition, I would suggest you don't read this, but someone phoned and said she was camping in the bush, and unbeknown to her, a spider got in her ear and laid some eggs. As if this wasn't horrifying enough, when they hatched, they found a way out via her throat and into her mouth.....aaaaaaaaaggggghhhhh. Will be taking my ear plugs with me camping at Easter...

Sweating

Yes yes yes....I know...only horses etc....but I'm telling you. I definitely sweat. A lot. This is both unattractive and unhygienic. It also ruins your hairstyle. On a hot day, getting up consists of an immediate shower because you've been sweating all night and feel disgusting. You are still sweating when you get out the shower. Then you dry your hair (this has to be done naked or you would die of heat exhaustion). Then you need another shower because you are so hot. At this stage I usually put the ceiling fan on full blast and stand under it till I cool down. You can attempt to put make up on, but you have to keep mopping your brow. Any sort of physical activity - hoovering, ironing etc - has to be followed by another shower. I am conscious of sweating all the time. I'm told I will acclimatise. I better.

Pedicures

Your feet are on show virtually all year round, so this means regular pedicures. Other people might find this a lovely, relaxing thing, but I find it a form of torture. I absolutely HATE having my feet touched. I writhe about in the chair, they beg me to relax my feet, and it can't be over quick enough for me. Bet you would never have guessed that about me!

Early Mornings

I know I've mentioned this before, but the aussies LOVE to get up at the crack of dawn. The last two days, for various reasons, I've had to get the kids to school for 6.45am and 7.15am and it is a 25 minute drive. This morning as we travelled along Pittwater Road at 6.15am, George and I were surprised by the amount of traffic about, and the number of people running, walking and riding bikes, presumably before going to work. At the gym, they tell me that one of the busiest times of the days is at 5.30am when it opens. Nutters. Understandably, they are not late night people. If you are going out for dinner, it could well be at 6.30pm, and everyone is going off to bed at 9.30pm. Odd.

Things I Can't Buy and Would Like To

Boots No 7 blusher
Total Blonde hair shimmer (I think that is what it is called)
Twinings Decaffeinated Earl Grey Tea
Applicator tampons (...sorry...)
Really good, proper, pork sausages
Persil Non Bio

Distance

It really is a bloody long way from anywhere, and once you get out of Sydney, it's a bit the back of beyond. Pretty and everything, but I find it a bit scary. What do people do in these places? They look stifling.

Is that enough? Are you people satisfied now? It's not perfect, bad stuff still happens, the children still argue, Andrew is still sometimes an arse (and so am I), but hey - the sun is shining, and tomorrow we might be going to the beach. So if you don't mind, I think I'll keep on smiling!